Tears

Just got the news via email tonight. My good friend's mom has been battling ovarian cancer, and the war is almost over. She had been taken in for some emergency surgery, been having some intestinal problems I believe, and they found the cancer had spread all over. She's too weak for chemo. The doctors give her 1-6 weeks. They say she won't make it to Thanksgiving.

I want to cry, swear, kick God in the shins, and then drive 10 hours in the dark to my friends house and give him such a hug. She's only 53 years old, with grandbabies who deserve to know her. And kids and a husband who have known this was coming, but STILL. It's just so terribly wrong and sad and there's nothing we can do about it.

Death comes with life. It's a package deal. And we trust that God is going to take care of all of this effing awful stuff, and that there is meaning beyond the pain. But that's small consolation at the time when its your mom, your wife. When its your kids who will turn their big eyes to you and ask you where grandma has gone and when can they see her again.

I just really hurt for my friend, for what these next days will bring. I trust God will take care of them. I just wish I could hold his hand, and the hand of his beautiful wife, my wonderful girlfriend, and hug their children. It hurts to think of their hurt. God, hold my friends, because I cannot.