Tuesday, April 05, 2011


I've been out of contact for a while now.
Out of my mind for a while.
Pain is a constant companion now, and discomfort.
Wrenching gut pain, pounding throbbing head pain. Fuzzy head, hard to think. So very tired most every moment. Emotionally distressed, spiritually distressed.

But this is actually better than before. Pretty sh%$$y, right? I'm "in process" of being treated. It could be far, far worse. And supposedly by this fall, I'll be feeling pretty normal again.

What the hell is normal? I have no f*^@ing clue anymore. Hard to hold on to the hope, the promise of better, of this thing called normal.

I realized the other day that this particular health drama has been going on now for just over a year now. I've been a near invalid off and on, and the sickest I've ever been for a YEAR now. I keep reminding myself that there are many who live with chronic pain, chronic conditions, and that I am so very fortunate that I can still work to a certain extent, still function pretty well. I can walk, talk, sing, dance,bake brownies, lead worship, and read books to my girls. And kiss my husband.

So, keep the gratitude levels up as much as I can, focus on the promise of the future, kiss and hug my family a lot, and stop focusing so much of my emotional and spiritual energy on things I cannot change.

And keep praying for my mother, my awesome, loving, kick-butt mom who is going to come through her cancer surgery just fine, thank you very much.

Friday, February 18, 2011



I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

I am so sorry that cancer has revealed itself in your body. But it does not get to define your body or your life.

The love you have given and received is far greater, and is who you are. (Along with a great sense of style, and organization that I wish I had inherited!)

I love you

your daughter

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Wow. I have no creative thoughts at all. My mind is pretty blank. Which doesn't bode well for the two sermons I need to write for this week.

I have meant to be a regular blog writer, but life has been kicking me in the butt. I'm on the fifth day of migraines, and in the midst of the hyper thyroid part of the treatment of Grave's Disease. So, it's day by day.

Right now hubby and I are playing the game of "who's feeling worse." He's got a nasty cold and sinus headache. So we're kind of a drag around here, both girls are sick too.

Better news will hopefully be coming!

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Moving Through Advent

Advent inspiration.
(image from flikr)

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Down but not Out

Sitting by the tree, watching Cupcake Wars, the children are asleep, hubby is snoring, and I'm getting ready to snuggle in for the night. I'm not fully ready for service tomorrow, but it will be OK. This Grave's Disease is kicking my butt, but this is not the end of the world. I will survive!

Monday, November 08, 2010

November Preparations

(image from Flicker)
Now that November is here, its time to gear up for a busy ministry season, and for hosting Thanksgiving. Cooking for guests always makes me a nervous wreck! As a domestically challenged person, it absolutely freaks me out that I have to plan, prepare and serve all these meals to these people. Its hard enough for me to feed my family from day to day! So I'm trying to save myself some stress by finding simple child friendly recipes and trying them out on my family. And finding the most simple Thanksgiving Day recipes too. Breathe! It will be OK!

Angst about food aside, we have some major cleaning to do, which is challenging when you have children following behind you undoing all your organization with chaos. I'm actually kind of pumped about the cleaning part, because I envision our friends and their kids here, enjoying our home, and feeling comfortable with us. I can't wait to see them!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

sun on the mountain

Classic Collage 3x5 folded card
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