Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Internal Musings

Just finished reading Kate Braestreps' book "Here If You Need Me" again. I think it's one of those you just need to read periodically, to remind you of essential things, to keep you grounded. I appreciate her honesty, her openness about her thoughts and situation, and how it affirms the holiness of certain moments in our lives.

I'm trying to orient myself to once again be aware to the holiness and blessedness of events and activities in my life. Being tired and grumpy and overwhelmed most of the time has leached that awareness out of me, bit by bit. It's too easy to see problems and troubles, less easy to see them as possibilities and blessings. I'm so easily haunted by mistakes I've made, the work not done, the words unsaid or unfortunately said. I think "failure" is my mind's default setting when analyzing myself. My question is how to be gentle, forgiving and loving to myself, yet bracing and kick-butt to deal with the things that stymie me.

Right now Lil' Princess is begging me to play with her. I think the plan is to go downstairs and play with Play-doh. So further internal introspection will have to wait. Maybe there's some good therapy to be found in Play-doh!

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