I'm on the wedding roller coaster, and I want off!!!
After some...challenging premarital sessions, we have finally come to the wedding weekend. But the excitement is not over. Tonight, the bride and groom did not show up for the rehearsal because they got into a Massive fight. Family all freaked out, big time. It was looking like everything was going to be cancelled. Now, about 30 minutes ago, the bride showed up at my doorstep with her sister and a friend to tell me that they intend to go through with the wedding. That they'd worked it out and are committed to making this happen.
Crap. I'm in the black hole of couple and family dysfunction.
Friday, July 31, 2009
RevGalPals Friday Five - Silliness
Today’s Friday Five celebrates the spontaneous child in all of us… or at least the one that we admire in someone else:
1) On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being I can’t do this now I am about to jump into a pit of plastic balls at the mini-mall and 1 being I can’t do this now until I can get all of the fonts on my blog to match – where are you?
Ooooh, it depends on the day! Actually, it depends on the grumpiness quotient of the day. When the grumpies hit, I'm the one raining on the parade (depression SUCKS). On regular days, I'm probably a 3.5. A 4 on special occasions. As I've gotten older and added responsibilities, spontenatity has definitely lessened. I was the one who was ready on a moment's notice to go do something silly and fun. Now, not so much. Darn, all those adult responsibilites!
2) What is the silliest/most childlike thing you have done as an adult?
I went to a Halloween party dressed as Jael, with the bloody looking tent peg & mallet and everything. I won first prize in the Biblically-themed costume category!
3) Any regrets?
No, I don't think I regret any of my adult occasions of silliness. There are a few adolescent occasions of silliness I wish I could erase!
4) What is the silliest thing you have ever seen another adult do on purpose?
Ummm, the ones I can think of came about because the persons in question imbibed too much alcohol, so I don't know if they really count.
5) What is something you wish you did when you had the chance?
Travel abroad!!! During college and then again at seminary, I had the opportunity to do so, but passed them up over fears about money. I really wish I had just gone for it!
BONUS: For our ‘I told you so’ sides – what thing did you skip doing and you’re really glad you did!
I'm glad that I didn't accept some invitations to some parties that ended up being excuses for adults to act like immature adolescents. I enjoy silliness yes, but stupidity, no.
1) On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being I can’t do this now I am about to jump into a pit of plastic balls at the mini-mall and 1 being I can’t do this now until I can get all of the fonts on my blog to match – where are you?
Ooooh, it depends on the day! Actually, it depends on the grumpiness quotient of the day. When the grumpies hit, I'm the one raining on the parade (depression SUCKS). On regular days, I'm probably a 3.5. A 4 on special occasions. As I've gotten older and added responsibilities, spontenatity has definitely lessened. I was the one who was ready on a moment's notice to go do something silly and fun. Now, not so much. Darn, all those adult responsibilites!
2) What is the silliest/most childlike thing you have done as an adult?
I went to a Halloween party dressed as Jael, with the bloody looking tent peg & mallet and everything. I won first prize in the Biblically-themed costume category!
3) Any regrets?
No, I don't think I regret any of my adult occasions of silliness. There are a few adolescent occasions of silliness I wish I could erase!
4) What is the silliest thing you have ever seen another adult do on purpose?
Ummm, the ones I can think of came about because the persons in question imbibed too much alcohol, so I don't know if they really count.
5) What is something you wish you did when you had the chance?
Travel abroad!!! During college and then again at seminary, I had the opportunity to do so, but passed them up over fears about money. I really wish I had just gone for it!
BONUS: For our ‘I told you so’ sides – what thing did you skip doing and you’re really glad you did!
I'm glad that I didn't accept some invitations to some parties that ended up being excuses for adults to act like immature adolescents. I enjoy silliness yes, but stupidity, no.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Drawing a Blank
I have always loved the written word. I love to soak up ideas and images, sort through layers, revel in the richness of language. On my kindergarten final report, the teacher commented on how desperately I wanted to learn to read (in those days, the standards and expectations of 5 & 6 year olds were v-e-r-y different from today! Now you can't graduate from K without knowing how to read at a basic level).
I have also loved to write, to play with words, bring the images and ideas from my head into a form that expresses them to others. I make no claims to excellence, or even mediocrity in my writing, but it is an exercise I enjoy.
So I find myself in a rather odd predicament at the moment. Our local paper has a "From the Pastor's Desk" article every week, and the pastors in the area take our turns writing the column. I am assigned for the first week in August, and the first week in September. Since this baby could show up any time after the first weekend in August, I decided I should write both columns now, and submit them to the paper early with an explanation of my situation. All well and good. BUT. I am having the worst case of blank mind ever, writer's block big time. I can't squeeze out one column right now, much less two! I've started on several different themes, and run out of steam after 100 words each time (the column calls for 400-500 words).
What am I going to write?!?! Nothing is really catching my interest or inspiring any passion in me at the moment - other than the strong desire to sleep and eat as my body preps for the upcoming event. And I don't want to blather about pregnancy or babies in the column, I'd like SOME privacy and boundaries in these tiny communities. Arrghl. Makes me secretly wish I'd saved all those years worth of monthy newsletter articles I wrote in my last parish. I hate to recycle, but I'm coming up empty!
So. Now what?
I have also loved to write, to play with words, bring the images and ideas from my head into a form that expresses them to others. I make no claims to excellence, or even mediocrity in my writing, but it is an exercise I enjoy.
So I find myself in a rather odd predicament at the moment. Our local paper has a "From the Pastor's Desk" article every week, and the pastors in the area take our turns writing the column. I am assigned for the first week in August, and the first week in September. Since this baby could show up any time after the first weekend in August, I decided I should write both columns now, and submit them to the paper early with an explanation of my situation. All well and good. BUT. I am having the worst case of blank mind ever, writer's block big time. I can't squeeze out one column right now, much less two! I've started on several different themes, and run out of steam after 100 words each time (the column calls for 400-500 words).
What am I going to write?!?! Nothing is really catching my interest or inspiring any passion in me at the moment - other than the strong desire to sleep and eat as my body preps for the upcoming event. And I don't want to blather about pregnancy or babies in the column, I'd like SOME privacy and boundaries in these tiny communities. Arrghl. Makes me secretly wish I'd saved all those years worth of monthy newsletter articles I wrote in my last parish. I hate to recycle, but I'm coming up empty!
So. Now what?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Pre-marital Part 3
Uffda. I'm still working out what I just experienced in my latest pre-marital session. Each time I think I know what's going to happen, or think I've got things figured out with these folks, I end up being surprised and challenged.
The positives - both were able to honestly and clearly express their love and trust and commitment to each other. It was simple and straightforward, and...beautiful, really. They were also able to express and start discussing their relationship challenges and issues with me. I hadn't expected this, I'd hoped for it, but thought it wouldn't or couldn't happen.
The negatives - so many, many difficult issues for which they struggle to be able to come to any consensus or game plan. They both have complicated and painful pasts that have a HUGE impact in how they understand and deal with their realities. They both have families that barely function. He deals with substance abuse and a history of getting in trouble with the law. And so dealing with all their life issues becomes so huge and seemingly insurmountable for them. Their frustration and anger were palpable as they talked about their issues, but they didn't seem able to move past venting to dealing with them and coming up with ideas and solutions.
I wish that I had more time with them. I wish they were open to seeking out some skilled counseling. I feel better about them as a couple than I did when we first started. But. They have so much to deal with and overcome. And getting married is not going to solve any of the problems. So here we are. Uffda.
And what in the world am I going to preach at this wedding?
The positives - both were able to honestly and clearly express their love and trust and commitment to each other. It was simple and straightforward, and...beautiful, really. They were also able to express and start discussing their relationship challenges and issues with me. I hadn't expected this, I'd hoped for it, but thought it wouldn't or couldn't happen.
The negatives - so many, many difficult issues for which they struggle to be able to come to any consensus or game plan. They both have complicated and painful pasts that have a HUGE impact in how they understand and deal with their realities. They both have families that barely function. He deals with substance abuse and a history of getting in trouble with the law. And so dealing with all their life issues becomes so huge and seemingly insurmountable for them. Their frustration and anger were palpable as they talked about their issues, but they didn't seem able to move past venting to dealing with them and coming up with ideas and solutions.
I wish that I had more time with them. I wish they were open to seeking out some skilled counseling. I feel better about them as a couple than I did when we first started. But. They have so much to deal with and overcome. And getting married is not going to solve any of the problems. So here we are. Uffda.
And what in the world am I going to preach at this wedding?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Internal Musings
Just finished reading Kate Braestreps' book "Here If You Need Me" again. I think it's one of those you just need to read periodically, to remind you of essential things, to keep you grounded. I appreciate her honesty, her openness about her thoughts and situation, and how it affirms the holiness of certain moments in our lives.
I'm trying to orient myself to once again be aware to the holiness and blessedness of events and activities in my life. Being tired and grumpy and overwhelmed most of the time has leached that awareness out of me, bit by bit. It's too easy to see problems and troubles, less easy to see them as possibilities and blessings. I'm so easily haunted by mistakes I've made, the work not done, the words unsaid or unfortunately said. I think "failure" is my mind's default setting when analyzing myself. My question is how to be gentle, forgiving and loving to myself, yet bracing and kick-butt to deal with the things that stymie me.
Right now Lil' Princess is begging me to play with her. I think the plan is to go downstairs and play with Play-doh. So further internal introspection will have to wait. Maybe there's some good therapy to be found in Play-doh!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Friday Night Thoughts
The doctor called this week - the gestational diabetes test turned out to be negative - Yay!
RevDad's parents, and his sister's three kids are visiting this weekend, and all the kids are having a great time together.
I'm re-evaluating my sense of self, call, and attitude tonight, after a conversation with my mom-in-law about our future plans.
The little bun in the oven has been moving and kicking tonight, which is lovely. My in-laws brought the crib out with them (we stored most of our baby stuff at their farm), so I'm looking around my study (soon to be nursery) and envisioning where it will go. That's a good feeling.
Good night, I'm tired. I'm sure the kids will be up bright and early!
RevDad's parents, and his sister's three kids are visiting this weekend, and all the kids are having a great time together.
I'm re-evaluating my sense of self, call, and attitude tonight, after a conversation with my mom-in-law about our future plans.
The little bun in the oven has been moving and kicking tonight, which is lovely. My in-laws brought the crib out with them (we stored most of our baby stuff at their farm), so I'm looking around my study (soon to be nursery) and envisioning where it will go. That's a good feeling.
Good night, I'm tired. I'm sure the kids will be up bright and early!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Blood Day - sounds lovely, eh?
So today I went in for the 3+ hour gestational diabetes test. It was a l-o-n-g morning. They took my blood for a baseline, had me chug a bottle of nasty orange-y stuff, and then took more blood after 1 hr, 2hrs, and 3 hrs. But I wasn't allowed to leave the lab area the entire time, which consists of a few ancient uncomfortable chairs stuck in a kind of hallway outside of the actual lab. And the air conditioning was blasting the whole time, so I froze! I'm not sure when I'll get the results. I shouldn't really complain though, the staff were very gracious and encouraging, and one very nice lady got me a blanket and talked with me about books. And the staff who were around at the last blood-letting were cheering for me, and offering their best wishes for a good outcome to the tests.
Ever since my dad was diagnosed with a blood disorder back when I was in seventh grade, and had to have blood drawn several times a week for a long time, I've grown to appreciate phlebotemists (sp?). They're often the last person the patient wants to see, but by and large all the ones I've met have been patient, good-humored, and very skilled. One of the patients who came through the lab today was an elderly woman in a wheel chair, who was obviously miserable and in pain when she came in. She was having a hard time with getting poked by a needle, and whimpered for a while. The tech was so gentle and reassuring, and did about the quickest blood draw I've ever known. The poor lady was quickly on her way, one of the available techs wheeling her to Xray instead of waiting for an aide, and speaking soothingly and encouragingly as they went. I was impressed with their compassion and professionalism.
So now I'm home, with a sore arm, getting ready for tonights family service and tomorrow's funeral. Lil' Princess was NOT happy to wake up and find me gone this morning, and ticked off that I didn't get home till after lunch. So she's been a little...difficult this afternoon. But for the moment she's happy to watch a princess movie while I snatch a few moments.
Ever since my dad was diagnosed with a blood disorder back when I was in seventh grade, and had to have blood drawn several times a week for a long time, I've grown to appreciate phlebotemists (sp?). They're often the last person the patient wants to see, but by and large all the ones I've met have been patient, good-humored, and very skilled. One of the patients who came through the lab today was an elderly woman in a wheel chair, who was obviously miserable and in pain when she came in. She was having a hard time with getting poked by a needle, and whimpered for a while. The tech was so gentle and reassuring, and did about the quickest blood draw I've ever known. The poor lady was quickly on her way, one of the available techs wheeling her to Xray instead of waiting for an aide, and speaking soothingly and encouragingly as they went. I was impressed with their compassion and professionalism.
So now I'm home, with a sore arm, getting ready for tonights family service and tomorrow's funeral. Lil' Princess was NOT happy to wake up and find me gone this morning, and ticked off that I didn't get home till after lunch. So she's been a little...difficult this afternoon. But for the moment she's happy to watch a princess movie while I snatch a few moments.
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