School is two hours late today because of icy road conditions. We're supposed to have snow changing to rain all day today, so we'll see if school gets called off early too. I'm concerned we might not be able to get the 24 miles down the road to the town with our clinic. SweetBaby has her check-up today, and I have a lot of questions for our doctor!
So right now Lil' Princess is looking through all our theology books, asking why there are so many highlighted parts in them ('cause she's not allowed to write or draw in her books, so why are we???) RevDad is trying to convince SweetBaby to stay asleep. I'm looking around the living room, wondering how the house can become a disaster zone so quickly.
Today I am doing something rare, I am doing something to truly pamper myself. I have an appointment to get a pedicure at the hair salon here in town (as long as she can get into town from her place!) I've only had one once before, and discovered to my surprise that I really enjoy it. It was really relaxing, and fun to have pretty toes. My back hurts, my head hurts, I'm exhausted, so maybe a little pampering will help the situation.
Oh, it's my turn to walk the floor with SweetBaby. Time to sing!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I've been thinking...
Ok, now that I'm getting over my snit...thank your for your patience...
I've been thinking about pursuing some graduate work. My challenge is that I'm interested in too many things. I'd love some more work in Youth and Family ministry. I'd love to explore studies in Preaching. And there's my original passion and interest, the intersection of psychology and theology. I'm just not sure what would fit me the best, and be the best asset to my ministry. (And I'm not sure how I would juggle job, family and studies, especially now with a baby.)
What has prompted these reflections is the fact that my current parish is probably going to fall apart within the year in response to the ELCA's Sexuality Statement passed at this year's assembly. Since I have a very big chance of being out of a job by early 2010, it has started me thinking about what's next.
We want to move back to our "home" territory, and be closer to family...and civilization. We're interested in exploring perhaps serving together at a call. I'm pretty sure I want to continue with a part time call. Being able to be home with my children, and not gone all the times at meetings and events is a luxury I hope I can continue to have. I want to settle somewhere where we can stay for a good long time, and give our kids some stability, if that's possible for pastors.
It's all pretty nebulous right now. And I've been told that there aren't that many openings right now because pastors in my denomination aren't moving as much because of the economy. But I have to trust that we'll be guided to the wheres and whats. I started to fill out the mobility paperwork, which really is the first step. These forms are a huge pain in the behind, but they do force you to think about where you've been, where you want to be, and who you are as a pastor. It's going to take a few months to finish them, but hopefully the process will help me clarify some things for myself and my family.
So what's next? I don't know. As my sister-in-law tells me, it's one day at a time. As scripture tells me, don't worry about tomorrow, today's troubles are enough for today. I just have a hard time remembering that, and giving myself over to the process. I want the end result, the answers, right now!
I've been thinking about pursuing some graduate work. My challenge is that I'm interested in too many things. I'd love some more work in Youth and Family ministry. I'd love to explore studies in Preaching. And there's my original passion and interest, the intersection of psychology and theology. I'm just not sure what would fit me the best, and be the best asset to my ministry. (And I'm not sure how I would juggle job, family and studies, especially now with a baby.)
What has prompted these reflections is the fact that my current parish is probably going to fall apart within the year in response to the ELCA's Sexuality Statement passed at this year's assembly. Since I have a very big chance of being out of a job by early 2010, it has started me thinking about what's next.
We want to move back to our "home" territory, and be closer to family...and civilization. We're interested in exploring perhaps serving together at a call. I'm pretty sure I want to continue with a part time call. Being able to be home with my children, and not gone all the times at meetings and events is a luxury I hope I can continue to have. I want to settle somewhere where we can stay for a good long time, and give our kids some stability, if that's possible for pastors.
It's all pretty nebulous right now. And I've been told that there aren't that many openings right now because pastors in my denomination aren't moving as much because of the economy. But I have to trust that we'll be guided to the wheres and whats. I started to fill out the mobility paperwork, which really is the first step. These forms are a huge pain in the behind, but they do force you to think about where you've been, where you want to be, and who you are as a pastor. It's going to take a few months to finish them, but hopefully the process will help me clarify some things for myself and my family.
So what's next? I don't know. As my sister-in-law tells me, it's one day at a time. As scripture tells me, don't worry about tomorrow, today's troubles are enough for today. I just have a hard time remembering that, and giving myself over to the process. I want the end result, the answers, right now!
Never Mind
I expressed my wish to develop some hopes and dreams in a couple of different places. The responses I have gotten overall has been people pretty much making fun of me. While I know that no one has to take me seriously about anything, and it may have sounded silly to others, that response still kinda pisses me off. It was a serious question, and some serious pondering.
So I'll ponder on my own and not bother anyone with my thoughts.
Yes, I'm annoyed.
So I'll ponder on my own and not bother anyone with my thoughts.
Yes, I'm annoyed.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Unanswered Question
I was staring blankly at the TV the other day (which happens pretty often now that we're up at all hours day and night with a cranky baby) and I caught a part of Oprah. Now I haven't seen an episode of Oprah in years, and have never been that interested in watching. But it was on, I was conscious but didn't dare move from my seat until the baby was definitely asleep, so I watched.
Oprah told the story of a woman from Africa who had a dream of coming to America and getting an education. Everything was stacked against her, she had a very moving story. But after 20 years of struggle, she now lives in America, has a Bachelor's degree, a Master's degree, and is a few month's away from a PhD. The premise of her presentation was that a person's hopes and dreams are attainable.
It really struck me. Besides being horrified by the situations she came out of (refused education by her father, married off at age 11, stuck with a husband who beat her), I was so moved by her tenacious commitment to her dreams, and her refusal to give up on them. I started asking myself, what are my hopes and dreams? The sad thing is, I didn't have an answer. I couldn't think of any.
This is really bothering me. I find myself thinking alot about this, and doing some soul- searching. I'm not sure where this will lead me, but I know that it matters deeply to me. In my current call, I had already realized that I have felt little to no passion for the ministry, but have chalked it up to the isolation and depression. But now I see that this lack of passion is connected to a lack of personal hopes and dreams for myself. I have hopes for my children, my husband, my other family and friends. But none for myself. So I'm trying to set myself on a path to some self-discovery. I'm not sure how, but I know it matters.
Oprah told the story of a woman from Africa who had a dream of coming to America and getting an education. Everything was stacked against her, she had a very moving story. But after 20 years of struggle, she now lives in America, has a Bachelor's degree, a Master's degree, and is a few month's away from a PhD. The premise of her presentation was that a person's hopes and dreams are attainable.
It really struck me. Besides being horrified by the situations she came out of (refused education by her father, married off at age 11, stuck with a husband who beat her), I was so moved by her tenacious commitment to her dreams, and her refusal to give up on them. I started asking myself, what are my hopes and dreams? The sad thing is, I didn't have an answer. I couldn't think of any.
This is really bothering me. I find myself thinking alot about this, and doing some soul- searching. I'm not sure where this will lead me, but I know that it matters deeply to me. In my current call, I had already realized that I have felt little to no passion for the ministry, but have chalked it up to the isolation and depression. But now I see that this lack of passion is connected to a lack of personal hopes and dreams for myself. I have hopes for my children, my husband, my other family and friends. But none for myself. So I'm trying to set myself on a path to some self-discovery. I'm not sure how, but I know it matters.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Autumn Friday Five
From RevGalBlogPals:
Let us fear the LORD our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest. Jeremiah 5:23b
The Autumnal Equinox has just come 'round again. I took a look back at our Friday Fives and noted that it always seems to make the Rev Gals and their Pals think of changes.
Let us fear the LORD our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest. Jeremiah 5:23b
The Autumnal Equinox has just come 'round again. I took a look back at our Friday Fives and noted that it always seems to make the Rev Gals and their Pals think of changes.
There is something so nostalgic about this time of year, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. The nights grow cooler, crops are harvested, for some of us the leaves are beginning to change colors. The scent of smoke is in the air, pumpkins are in the stores (or on wagons, or in roadside stands for those of us in the country). I'm thinking of putting away my summer clothes and pulling out the sweaters. And I have a tub of Fall-themed items that my husband just lugged up from the basement. I'm looking for my scarecrow.
For this week, let's share some memories along with some hopes and expectations.
1. Share a Fall memory.
My brother and I raking together the biggest, most impressive leaf pile EVER (we lived in the middle of the woods so there was a never-ending supply), then absolutely demolishing it by running and jumping in it. It would start off taller than we were, and end up in a small pulverized heap. To add an element of danger, we'd put it on the edge of a pretty deep ravine, and try not to fall in. By some miracle, neither of us ever did.
My brother and I raking together the biggest, most impressive leaf pile EVER (we lived in the middle of the woods so there was a never-ending supply), then absolutely demolishing it by running and jumping in it. It would start off taller than we were, and end up in a small pulverized heap. To add an element of danger, we'd put it on the edge of a pretty deep ravine, and try not to fall in. By some miracle, neither of us ever did.
2. Your favorite Fall clothes--(past or present)?
Jeans and a snuggly cardigan - fall temps are such a great excuse to layer on my favorite soft cardigans.
Jeans and a snuggly cardigan - fall temps are such a great excuse to layer on my favorite soft cardigans.
3. Share a campfire story, song, experience...etc.
I got to go to Girl Scout camp once, which coincidentally took place in the fall. We sang "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold." A memorable night game we played was a version of hide and seek, where one team had to hide and each member had to make a different assigned animal noise. The finder teams had to see who could find all the "animals" on the list first. I'd lost my voice earlier in the evening, and so spent the whole game vainly attempting to make a hooting noise. It took forever for anyone to find me, and it was cold!
I got to go to Girl Scout camp once, which coincidentally took place in the fall. We sang "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold." A memorable night game we played was a version of hide and seek, where one team had to hide and each member had to make a different assigned animal noise. The finder teams had to see who could find all the "animals" on the list first. I'd lost my voice earlier in the evening, and so spent the whole game vainly attempting to make a hooting noise. It took forever for anyone to find me, and it was cold!
4. What is your favorite thing about this time of year?
Cool days, the crunch of leaves under your feet, the feeling of something new happening, the change of activities, kids boarding the school bus. It's a time for new things, and has a freshness about it.
Cool days, the crunch of leaves under your feet, the feeling of something new happening, the change of activities, kids boarding the school bus. It's a time for new things, and has a freshness about it.
5. What changes are you anticipating in your life, your church, family...whatever...as the season changes and winter approaches?
The decisions made at the ELCA's Churchwide Assembly in August have riled up something pretty ugly in my parish. There are members from one of the churches in particular who are up in arms, and want the whole parish to leave the ELCA. The way it looks now, this one of the churches will either leave, or a good chunk of the members will leave the church which effectively closes that church. Either way, the parish cannot afford to lose one of the churches, and will be forced to make some tough decisions in order not to close. So my hubby and I will be downloading the mobility papers onto our computer soon, and we'll be making preparations to leave within the year. This all has happened in this last month, so we're still reeling.
Bonus: What food says "AUTUMN" at your house? Recipes always appreciated.The decisions made at the ELCA's Churchwide Assembly in August have riled up something pretty ugly in my parish. There are members from one of the churches in particular who are up in arms, and want the whole parish to leave the ELCA. The way it looks now, this one of the churches will either leave, or a good chunk of the members will leave the church which effectively closes that church. Either way, the parish cannot afford to lose one of the churches, and will be forced to make some tough decisions in order not to close. So my hubby and I will be downloading the mobility papers onto our computer soon, and we'll be making preparations to leave within the year. This all has happened in this last month, so we're still reeling.
Yummy soups, especially comfort food combinations like tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Sweet baby
I am now the proud mommy of a little baby girl!
We've been home together for a few days. Things have been a bit rocky, but it's working out better now. She's a sweety, Lil' Princess is absolutely a doting loving big sister, and RevDad still looks a bit stunned by how our lives have changed.
I'm tired and grateful. And sore. And so happy that she's here.
We've been home together for a few days. Things have been a bit rocky, but it's working out better now. She's a sweety, Lil' Princess is absolutely a doting loving big sister, and RevDad still looks a bit stunned by how our lives have changed.
I'm tired and grateful. And sore. And so happy that she's here.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Baby Where Art Thou
Tomorrow I go in to the hospital for a second try at inducing. I'm going out of my mind, so here's fervently hoping this one works!
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